Where Did My Sweet Boy Go?

amaani munaf
3 min readJul 9, 2024

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Does this scenario sound familiar? You look across the room, and the person you once shared stolen glances and whispered secrets with seems like a stranger. Conversations are strained, playful touches have become a distant memory, and the love that once burned brightly feels like embers. Remember that boy, the one whose eyes lit up when I walked in the room? The one who couldn’t wait to text, to share every detail of his day? Where did he go?

The silence used to be comfortable. Now, it screams deafeningly. Remember when my presence was a warm cup of coffee on a cold morning, a spark that ignited your day? Now, it feels like a half-eaten plate of lukewarm fries — forgotten on the table.

Silence. That’s what defines us now. We barely talk. Conversations are forced, hollow echoes of what we used to be. Days turn into weeks, punctuated by the painful absence of a simple text. You say you’re busy, but a text takes seconds, while endless scrolling swallows your precious time.

With every unanswered text, a tiny voice whispers that I don’t matter. Is that what you want me to believe?

Maybe you don’t even realize it, but your actions speak volumes. Remember all those promises, the “I’ll do betters” that turned to dust? Actions speak louder than words, and yours are deafening.

They say “live in the moment,” but you’re so fixated on some future that you’re missing the present. One day, you’ll wake up and realize what you had, and by then, it’ll be gone.

I cry, pouring my heart out in texts, met with the same tired excuses only to be met with a dismissive “stop fighting.” Is expressing my feelings a fight? Is love a burden now?

Am I even someone to you? A nameless notification you skim over? Ten minutes. Just ten minutes out of your entire day. Is that too much to ask for the person who waits by the phone, heart leaping at every flicker, only to be met with crushing disappointment?

The weight of unspoken words suffocates me. I have no outlet, no shoulder to cry on. All I crave is a sliver of your time, a moment to feel seen, heard. The depth of this depression is a bottomless pit, and I’m drowning in it.

The intensity of falling in love is exhilarating, but the fear of losing that spark is a constant shadow. Sometimes, the biggest relationship battles are fought in the silence. Don’t let the present become a faded photograph in the future.

“I just want someone to listen,” I whisper, a silent scream into the void. And that someone, I naively believed, would be you not a therapist. Isn’t that what love is supposed to be?

Because the truth is, darling, I’m scared. Scared of losing you, scared of losing myself.

This isn’t me. This isn’t us. Where did my sweet boy go?

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amaani munaf

|-professional-poetic-baking-cinderella-22-| "i'm a modern, woke woman, healing through words, navigating the ups and downs of heartbreak."